Corrupt A Wish

granted. You fall into a coma for the rest of your life.

I wish I had telekinetic powers

Granted. Every time you use them you lose a chunk of your body.

I wish could control minds

Granted then you realize soon after each time it shortens your own memory each time making you that much more a vegetable.

I wish i was a immortal

Granted, but , you are immortal in the sense you do not die of age, and while we are at it, you are now a lobster in a fish tank at Captain D's, as biologically, Lobsters are immortal PRAISE THEM.

I wish to be devoured by the Elder God that I may become one with his being.

Granted. He eats you, then you make him sick so he vomits every last bit of you out.

I wish that people needed to pass a high intelligence test to have children.

Granted, but the intelligence test is so difficult nobody is able to pass it and life as we know it dies out and becomes extinct.


I wish I was the master at flirting

Granted, every guy you know swoon over you.

I wish I could walk on water

Granted. You have the ever so average ability to walk on ice.

I wish I was always clean

Granted, due to you being so clean your immune system is terrible and you die from the simplest infection that a baby can easily fight off.

I wish I could read minds

Granted, but only your own, in html format in a book.

I wish for a salmon to eat off all my toes.

Granted but you are turned into a snake you have no toes.
I wish for Jack and Coke to always be in a mug that magically never empties

Granted, but the mug is locked in a vault at the bottom of the Marianas Trench, have fun fishing for it!

I wish for a potato

Granted, but it's a potato infested with Ebola and now you've been infected. You have a 30% chance to live! Ready, set, go!!!!

I wish I could be like the cool kids~
(I love that song)

Granted, but you now live in Antarctica XD.

I wish I had a 2015 Dodge Challenger.

Granted, but it has a Civic engine.

I wish I could commit in a relationship XD

Granted, but you end up committing murder. Tut, tut, tut. Shame on you, you evildoer!

I wish my room didn't smell like dog poop.

Granted, you get Cow manure smell instead, good for you :D

I wish to be obliterated painlessly.

Greanted, but when reviewing your request, "obliterated," was accidentally read as, "oblated," and, "painlessly," as, "seamlessly."

Therefore, your head and feet have been flattened completely and any holes in your body have been sewn up and you are now living an extremely, ridiculously painful life.

I wish I had a trunk full of diamonds.

Granted, you are now locked in said trunk on the way to the bottom of the ocean.

I wish I could impose my will on reality.

Granted. Your friend, Will, is now simultaneously everywhere, uncomfortably imposing himself physically on each and every atom in creation. Good job, Ish!

Or should I say...

#thanksobama

*ahem*

I like this too much.
I wish I hated it.

You do, but in the most sexually frustrated of ways.

I wish for a salmon

The Salmon Is actually carrying Ebola. whether its a pet or you eat it you are infected Have a happy Death.
I wish The world had powers like Bleach

Granted, but your wish is interpreted literally, thus giving the world itself the power to kill 99.9% of bacteria. Bad news, everything on Earth is the bacteria.

I wish I could meet my RP char in real life.

granted. You make eye contact has he is running his blade through you. It seems for some reason you were his target.

I wish I was rich through a completely legal inheritance.

Granted you are arrested for stealing before you get the inheritance
I wish Vlad could get laid